Top 10 Famous Last Words

The top 10 famous last words according to AskMen.com

Deathbed conversions be damned; they are the quintessential sell-out, as they betray all the ideals that a person stood for in a single, panic-ridden moment. Besides, nobody remembers them except some lousy church official with motive enough -- your soul -- to lie about what he heard. Wouldn’t it be better to die having uttered a line or two that you could count on to represent you well into posterity?

While it is exceedingly rare for a person to die precisely as they lived, it is also rare that his last words in some way -- either through coincidence, irony or beautiful fate -- illustrate the life he once led. Such an accomplishment merits a top 10 celebration.

Number 10

Del Close - 1934-1999

“Thank God. I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room.“

The list of comedians directly taught and inspired by actor, improv teacher and comedian Del Close is an impressive who’s-who that includes John Belushi, Stephen Colbert, Chris Farley, Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, and Mike Myers. His tremendous influence on so many notable comedians, from 1960s New York City through today’s cast of Saturday Night Live renders his last words deliberately humble and impossibly untrue.

Number 9

Voltaire - 1694-1778

“Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.” - when asked to renounce Satan

Writer and philosopher, Voltaire is best known for something he may never have uttered: “I disapprove of what you say, but would defend with my life your right to say it.” Whether he said it or not, the quote is apt for a man who used lucid arguments and a sharp wit to fight for such novel concepts as freedom of religion and the right to a fair trial. It is therefore especially fitting that, in death, he would not even deny the devil the God-given right to plead his case.

Number 8

Davy Crockett - 1786-1836

“I'm warning you boys, I'm a screamer.” - prior to his execution

The tombstone of this American folk hero lists him in many roles, including pioneer, soldier, trapper, and politician, but his martyrdom in defense of the Alamo during the Texas revolution is what turned Crockett into a legend. The details of his death have been in dispute ever since; some claim that he died in battle and others claim that he was executed on the orders of General Santa Anna.

Whether his last words are historically accurate or pure invention is almost immaterial; they expressed a sense of humor in the face of death. Humor at such a final moment is precisely what posterity needs from its heroes to assure us that the end isn’t nearly as scary as imagined.

Number 7

Henry David Thoreau - 1817-1862

“I did not know that we had ever quarreled.” - when urged to make peace
with God

The New England author of such free-thinking tracts as Walden and Civil Disobedience lived an uncommon life because he operated purely according to conscience. He was ridiculed by his neighbors and viewed as a freak and a loner, but his ideas changed the world when they influenced the likes of Ghandi, JFK and Martin Luther King. When considered, any other answer to his aunt’s urging that he make peace with God would have served to compromise the whole of his singularly independent life.

Number 6

Pancho Villa - 1878-1923

“Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.”

Pancho Villa emerged from the life of an uneducated Mexican sharecropper to become an idealist revolutionary and the governor of Chihuahua. He led the 20th century’s first truly triumphant revolution and set the standard for revolutionaries to come, such as Che Guevara. Numerous legends surrounded him, and he was viewed as a modern-day Robin Hood in Mexico and the U.S.

The famous last words of this one-time peasant accurately portray the man rather than the legend. Even at the end he remained conscious of how important it was to maintain and promote the myths about him that inspired so many people, but by coming up short on anything profound, he hinted at his own humanity.

Number 5

Carl Panzram - 1891-1930

“Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard; I could kill 10 men while you're fooling around!” - prior to his execution

America loves baseball, apple pie and serial killers, so it’s a bit baffling why Carl Panzram hasn’t had more press. He called himself “rage personified” and claimed 21 murders and more than 1,000 rapes, and upon beginning a 25-year stretch at Leavenworth, he vowed, “I’ll kill the first man that bothers me.” He kept his word and earned a death sentence. He also threatened to kill human rights groups if they tried to appeal his sentence.

Despite it all, Panzram believed he was not born evil, but that he was the necessary product of the unspeakable violence he endured as a child. When he left school, he devoted his life to murder and mayhem, yet in his autobiography he said, “My only regret is that I wasn’t born dead or not at all.” This comment, coupled with the “gallows” humor of his last words, suggests a strange but undeniable cognizance of both who he was and who he became.

Number 4

Joan Crawford - 1905-1977

“Damn it… Don't you dare ask God to help me.” - to her maid as she began to pray

Despite her Catholic upbringing and later conversion to Christian Science, Crawford rejected divine assistance with the same fearless indifference to authority that got her through four decades in Hollywood, six adopted children and four husbands. Crawford seemed entirely unafraid of damnation in her last moments, perhaps because she was already familiar with it; the last paragraph in her will disinherited her two eldest children “for reasons which are well-known to them.” One disinherited daughter, Christine, had her revenge by forever associating her mother with a tiny pet peeve about inappropriate closet accessories in the book and film Mommie Dearest.

Number 3

Isadora Duncan - 1877-1927

“Adieu, mes amis, je vais à la gloire!” (Farewell my friends, I go to glory!)

Isadora Duncan left an incredibly influential mark on the world of dance with her highly dramatic interpretations. Her last words, however, go down in infamy not for the mark they left on that world, but for the heights they reached in the sheer, tragic irony that exceeds the woman’s own acute flair for the dramatic.

Duncan often wore long scarves that tarried behind her. On one autumn day in France, she climbed into a car with open-spoked wheels and shouted, “Adieu, mes amis, je vais à la gloire!” She was unaware that her scarf had been caught in the spokes and before anyone could say a word of warning, the famous dancer was yanked clear out of the car. She died instantly from a broken neck.

Number 2

Oscar Wilde - 1854-1900

“These curtains are killing me; one of us has got to go.”

At the time of his death, the great Irish writer and master wit Oscar Wilde was no longer among London’s most famous men or even so much the celebrated author of The Picture of Dorian Gray or The Importance of Being Earnest. Rather, as he lay dying in a Parisian hotel room, the destitute Wilde was a convicted criminal who had spent two years in prison for “gross indecency” -- 19th century parlance for engaging in homosexual behavior. Nonetheless, as one of the greatest writers of his or any time, his last words -- the exact wording is a matter of some debate -- show that he died as he lived, with the sharpest tongue in the English language.

Number 1

Humphrey Bogart - 1899-1957

“I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.”

While the roles that made Bogart famous typify the deliberate and unapologetic guy’s guy and consummate ladies’ man, the greater testament to his stature is that off-screen, Bogie was legit and his personality didn’t vary much from his on-screen roles. In fact, the quotes attributed to him are often better than any that were written for him. When a judge asked Bogart if he had been drunk when he committed an alleged assault, Bogie answered, "Isn't everybody at three in the morning?" Yet, the man who also once said, “The whole world is three drinks behind,” was a skilled chess player and a voracious reader of authors such as Shakespeare, Pope and Plato.

Ironically, while filming The African Queen on location in Africa, most everyone got sick from dysentery except Bogart. “I built a solid wall of scotch between me and the bugs,” he said. “If a mosquito bit me, he'd fall over dead drunk."

No wonder he died lamenting Martinis.

(Source: Ask.com)